Broken
by thisxgirlxlovesxrice
Summary: "There was one good thing, the empathy teen realized, about controlling emotions. She could hide the fact that she was broken." BBRae slight RobStar
1. Chapter 1

**Broken**

There was one good thing, the empathy teen realized, about controlling emotions. She could hide the fact that she was broken. As a child, she used to hate holding everything in, she hated speaking in a monotone, she hated keeping everything in check. As a child, she was crazy, happy, bubbly, she was the opposite of what she had become. Growing up, she ignored the hatred and learned to tolerate until her mind and body made it seem like a regular thing.

The teen girl levitated with her legs crossed. Her hood was down with her head held up high. The cool summer breeze hit her face, the sound of the ocean in the background calmed her nerve. She chanted her montra over and over again, her heartbeat slowing down. All the thoughts that crashed through her mind from throughout the day was slowly becoming nothing to her. She slowly opened her eye, just a the sun set perfectly along the horizon. The sky an orange, red. The sun beam danced as the sun continued to set.

Ever since her last trip to evermore, which was two weeks ago, she had a hard time controlling her emotions. Lately, she's been getting dreams; not just dreams but memories. Memories of her past, when he was younger, in Azarath. She put her hood up as she walked backed inside of the tower. Everything about the dark, goth girl was off but no one seemed to notice because they were all too busy living their own life.

"Hey Rae-" she shot a look at the green changeling "-ven. Raven" he coughed out, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. His fake laughter died as he turned around, hunching his back, focusing on his game with the half man half tech. Raven could feel the emotions that spread throughout the room.

Robin was on the couch, his arm around the alien heroine. They finally had gotten together, Raven could feel all the emotions coming off of those two. She could hear their pounding heart beats, she could feel their sweat hands, she could feel their happiness, their bliss, _their love_ toward each other. It sickened her.

"Friend Raven, would you care to join us" the red haired alien asked with a smile on her face. Raven respectfully declined as she continued to wait for the kettle to hiss. "Are you not feeling well"

"I'm fine" Raven said in the same monotone she always speaks. Raven quickly lowered her head, causing her hood to hide her face.

"BOOOYEAH, take that green monkey butt!" Cyborg yelled as he threw a fist into the air, beside him the green changeling whimpered in defeat.

"my turn!" Boy Wonder snatched the game controller and began playing against the Tin man. Beast boy stood up and walked over to Raven. He sat in front of her, elbows proped onto the table with his hands on each cheek. He let out an abnormal sigh. Raven poured hot water into her cup, she raised an eyebrow.

"What do you want beast boy" Beast boy let out a grin, showing his fang. Raven felt her heart beat fast. She secretly took a deep breathe to try and calm herself. _Why does he have to look so cute- no Raven! no! Think about something else. something else. like. Waffles! wow, Waffles are actually pretty good._

"it's more like what he did!" Cyborg yelled. Beast boy sent a death glare to his best friend who was chuckling. Raven raised an eyebrow at the changeling who stood up laughing nervously, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. Her heart began to thump faster as she noticed things about him. He definitely grew up. He was now taller than her, he's muscles was showing from his uniform more than it did two years ago.

"isortakindmaybedroppedyourto othbrushintothetoilet" he said really fast while giving her a nervous smile. Raven rubbed her temples. Her head was starting to throb, the mix of emotions caused her head to pound loud enough to ring through her ears. She could feel the emotions inside her mind arguing and fighting. A warm hand touched her shoulder. "Rae are you okay?" a worried voice ask. Raven couldn't tell who it was, she was starting to black out. "Rae. Rae?" the voiced sounded confused. She could hear light bulbs exploding, the kettle on the counter explode. "Raven!"

* * *

Beast boy sat beside the half demon half human girl. He was truly worried about his friend. Something was off, he knew that Raven wasn't healing herself because she was lying on the bed. Like a human being in the hospital rather than levitating and healing herself. On the medical computer was Cyborg trying to find the cause of her passing out. "Did you find anything?" Robin asked as he entered the medical wing. Starfire was on the side of Raven.

"I'm afraid not" Starfire said looking down.

"It's like she's here, but she's not." Cyborg commented. "She's in a coma and she's not healing herself. If anything, she's letting herself die"

"Did..did I cause this?" Beast boy asked worried.

"I don't think so BB. A tooth brush dropping into a toilet wouldn't make Raven pass out like this. She destroyed the whole common room. It must be something else." Cyborg reassured as he patted his best friend on the back. "I don't have much information so I don't know what else to do. All we can do is wait."

They all stared at their friend. Wondering what on earth was going on. Suddenly, violet eyes shot open. Beast boy scooted closer as Cyborg turned to the computer. A lazy yawn escaped the mouth of the hospitalized girl. She looked around with a weird expression on her face.

"Raven?" Beast boy asked unsure. It was definitely not Raven behavior. She smiled. Beast boys eyes shot open, along with the rest of the titans.

"Hey BB!" 'Raven' said in an outgoing tone. "How's it going? mhmm, this is weird." the girl said as she slowly lifted her own limbs in confusion. The behavior of this unknown girl reminded Cyborg and Beast boy of someone, but they weren't sure. "whoaaa." she grabbed her head as she felt the pounding. "I can see why Raven was mad every time she came to visit"

That's when it clicked. "Brave?" Beast boy and Cyborg said in a unison, their eyes widen like a deer caught in the headlights. 'Brave' smiled at the two boys.

"umm friends. will you please explain who this 'brave' is?" Starfire asked, wanting to be apart of the information. Robin looked at the two mouth opened boys waiting for an explanation.

"I'm one of Raven's emotions." Brave said simply.

"Raven's emotions?" Starfire asked confused.

Brave sighed. "Okay so you know how Raven's always-" Brave paused and began her lame attempted of Raven "-I'm Raven, I must speak in a monotone tone because the monks of Azrath told me I need to control my emotions or else all havoc occurs" Brave then dropped her attempt. "Well I'm one of the reasons why. You see, our host, aka Raven, as I'm pretty sure you know how she's the portal to our evil father and what not, has to keep her emotions down. Especially rage oh boy that gets crazy! and... what was I saying again?" Brave asked as she tapped her chin.

"Explaining Raven's emotions" Robin stated.

"Oh right! As I was saying, there are other emotions in Raven's brain, which she has to keep in check. Speaking of which, BB Rage is interested in you. She's bored and you seem to be the only one who can cause Raven to get mad.-" Brave stopped in mid-sentence as she fell back onto the pillow.

"Brave?" Beast boy asked as he touched her arm. The heart monitor began to slow down.

"We're losing her!" Cyborg yelled. "Everyone out!"

"NO!" Beast boy screamed as Cyborg shoved everyone out of the room.

* * *

After a couple of hours, Robin and Starfire went off to went. Cyborg went to recharge. Leaving Raven and Beast boy alone. The heart monitor echoed throughout the room, it was faint and slow but it was there. He sat on a chair right beside her, his elbow propped on the mattress, his hand holding his head up. His eyes were slowly falling, but he wouldn't sleep. Not until Raven was okay. The changeling laughed ironically. Their relationship was really odd, one minute they're friends the next their at each others throats. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "Please be okay."

"umm...Beast boy" a shy voice said. Beast boy shot his head up and looked at Raven, except it wasn't Raven. This 'Raven' wrapped her arms around her knees, she hid her face with her arms from Beast boy once he shot his head up. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you!" she blurted out in a shy tone.

Beast boy rubbed his eyes. "Timid?" He opened his eyes to find her shaking. The heart monitor was still slow and faint. Beast boy took out his communicator to connect the others but Timid let out a whimper. Beast boy looked up at the fearful girl. He saw fear in her eyes, like a lost little girl. His instinct jumped in, moving from his station to sit beside Raven. He could see the fear still in her violet eyes. The changeling carefully wrapped one arm the scared girl, she snuggled closer, burying her face into the nape of his neck. His heart began to pick up speed. "um Timid. I'm gonna call the others. Is that alright?" he asked looking down, he felt her nod her head.

Seconds later, Cyborg walked into the room. He raised an eyebrow. "Are we interrupting something?" he gave Beast boy a teasing smile as Beast boy's cheeks flushed. Robin and Starfire looking confused. "You called."

"Another one of Rae's emotions" Beast boy explained, he slowly detached himself from the scared girl. "Timid to be exact."

"I-I'm sorry I'm so mean to you Starfire. I don't mean it. I'm sorry I destroyed the common room. I'm sorry I destroyed your game station. I-I didn't know what happened." Timid continued to over apologize everything. Beast boy rubbed her back as tears began to form in Timid's eyes. "I-I don't know what's going on" Timid stuttered. "I'm sorry you all have to worry about me" she said as a tear slid down her face.

Robin uncomfortably coughed, unsure what to do. "Friend do not apologize, it is alright!" Starfire reassured. "Can you tell us what happened to our Raven?"

Timid's lip began to quiver. "One of us has become more powerful. I do not understand why this must happen" Timid began to cry. Cyborg, Starfire, and Robin all backed away leaving Beast boy to do the comforting. Beast boy sighed in defeat as he pulled Timid closer.

"Timid. Which emotion lost control?" Beast boy asked in a caring tone as he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Timid slowly looked up, her eyes began to drop became unconscious. Beast boy held her limp body and let out an angry sigh. "So close." He gently put Raven's head back onto the pillow before sitting back on the chair. "Do you think it's rage?" Beast boy asked looking at Cyborg.

"It might be. Seeing as her emotions are taking control of her body. It could be a possibility that Rage is trying to control Raven's body." Robin theorized. Cyborg attached wires with tap to Raven's temples. "Cyborg try and guess when the next emotion will take over her body." Cyborg nodded as he continued to type on the keyboard. Robin kissed Starfire on the forehead. "You get some sleep." he then looked over at Beast boy. "you're gonna need it too Beast boy. Cyborg will watch Raven."

Beast boy nodded as the couple left. He stood up and slowly walked to the door, looking back at the girl lying there. Her faint heart beat still echoing throughout the room. "Get some sleep BB. You'll be the first person I'll call when something happens" Cyborg reassured giving his best friend a small smile. Beast boy nodded and left the room.

The half man half robot looked over at Raven's limp figure. It broke his heart to see someone like Raven in this state. He smiled a little, regardless what certain people said about the emotionless girl. He knew she was filled with emotions, he was in her head. He met every one of them. It wasn't just the fact that he's met the emotions. It was the fact that he's seen her use them. All of the. He's seen Raven's brave side every time they go to battle. How she protects the innocent and puts their life before her own. He's seen Raven's Timid side, her sad face when she discovered that Malchior used her. He's seen them all. Raven was one of the most amazing person he has ever met. What seemed to amaze him the most was how she was able to hold so much back. All the emotions that try to burst out. "Come on Raven. Pull through" he whispered before he continued to monitor her brain waves.

* * *

Beast boy tossed and turned on his bed. He couldn't sleep. Knowing that Raven wasn't well. He sighed as he stood up, changing into his uniform. He quietly walked out of his room and down the hall toward Raven's room. There had to be a hint of why she was in such a state. He carefully entered Raven's room. No one was ever allowed in this room, not after the incident with Cyborg and himself. Boy, was Raven pissed. After that incident though, they seemed to have gotten a little closer.

He sat on her bed, crossing his legs, and exhaled. "Maybe if I meditate like she did I would get an idea" he said to himself. He took several deep breathes and began to chant her montra. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos" he repeated over and over again until his body was completely relaxed. He slowly opened his eyes to find something sticking out, catching his eye. He walked over to the mountain of books and grabbed the one on top. It was a pink leather bound book, it was torn up like it had been tossed around for years. Dusting it off a bit, he realized what it was as a blushed crept his cheeks.

It was _Raven's Diary_. He opened the old book to the first page. In sloppy writing said the words 'Raven's Diary. DO NOT READ...OR ELSE'. Beside the 'or else' was a terrible drawing of a monster. Beast boy found himself laughing. He turned to the next page and began to read.

_Dear Whatever this is,  
The monks told me that this is the perfect way to get a control of my emotions so I won't turn into an evil portal to transfer what his name to earth or something. I never really understand what they say sometimes. Mother says that I have keep my emotions inside. Which stinks! I can't play like the other kids, I can't smile or laugh. I do not understand, but mother and the monks say that I will understand once I'm older. Being a kid sucks! But at least they give me ice cream when I'm good. -_

His communicator went off, signalling that Raven had woken up. Beast boy put the book back and rushed out of Raven's room. He ran down the hall, catching up with Starfire to where Cyborg is. They entered the room to find that 'Raven' was slouching with a a bunch of empty hamburger wrappers surrounding her. Robin and Cyborg stared at awe as she devoured an hamburger with one bite.

She then burped and laughed. "Boy am I stuffed!"

"You should be! You ate like fifty cheeseburgers!" Cyborg yelled waving his hands in the air. "I didn't know Raven could eat that much!"

'Raven' laughed. "HA! She sneaks down in the middle of the night and eats everything. Monkey butt doesn't have sleep walking food hunger. It's all Rae-Rae." She put her hands behind her head and yawned as a burp came out.

"Rude." Cyborg and Beast boy said in obvious voice.

"Great job tin man and greenie" Rude said sarcastically.

"This is were Raven gets all her sarcasm from" Beast boy muttered. Out of all the emotions, he _hated_ Rude. Rude grinned as she gave Beast boy a thumbs up. "Rude." Beast boy sighed, he knew this was going to be hard. "Where's Rae"

"Right here idiot" Rude said obviously, pointing to herself. "Maybe all those shape shifts are starting to affect your small brain?" Beast boy glared at rude. "Awe come on short stuff. It's not fun unless you play back!" Robin looked at Cyborg for more clarification. "Last time I saw brainless over here, we got into this big epic fight. Brave had to hold me down. So baldy, care to explain to me why I'm all wired up!"

Cyborg popped a tick mark. "Well Ms. Rude with an attitude" Cyborg walked over to the computer. "We're trying to see when Rage comes up to take over Raven's body"

Rude busted out into a laugh fit. Kicking her legs into the air while clutching onto her stomach. The four titans backed up, confused and scared of this side of Raven. "Rude isn't trying to control Rae's body. No one is. I think." Rude tapped her chin. "yep no one is. Rae-rae's having a hard time controlling us rascals, especially a certain emotion. From what I remember last, Rae had to lock her into a cage so she wouldn't get out. But Brave being brave set her free along with rage and everything is chaos." Rude explained. "Thing is Rae's not home. Only we are, we have no idea where our host even went."

"That explains why her heart rate is slow" Cyborg calculated something into the computer. "It also explains why Raven hasn't been able to heal herself. She's not in there."

"Then where is she" Robin asked, looking back at Raven who was now unconscious.

* * *

**I hoped you guys enjoyed this chapter of Broken !  
okay, I need to fan girl. I'm having a teen titans marathon and reliving my childhoold lol. And I was watching the episode The End, I forgot which part, but anyways. Beast boy totally turned into the beast. For Raven. boom. enough said. lol.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Broken**

It was Robin's turn to take care of Raven. Raven was like a little sister to him, he understood her unlike anyone else in the tower. He ran his fingers through his hair. "Come on Raven, you have to be in there somewhere. Wake up. Please. The team needs you." He covered his face as a sigh escaped his mouth. Raven helped him during the worst times of his life. They always caught each other when they fell. They could rely on each other.

The boy wonder began to feel a pang of guilt. Lately, the team and his friends were the last thing on his mind. He's been so love struck by Starfire, he didn't notice anything around him but her. It wasn't a bad thing, the team was proud but he neglected his friends at the same time. "Maybe I could have stopped this" he muttered to himself. He laughed a little, he could hear Raven telling him that it couldn't have been stopped. He found himself grinning.

A hand touched his shoulder, turning around he faced his girlfriend pulled her onto his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Boyfriend Robin. Will Friend Raven be okay" Starfire asked in a worried voice. "What has caused her to slip into such a state"

"I don't know star, but she's Raven. She'll pull through" Robin tightened his grip around Starfire's waist.

"I know she is like a sister to you. I believe she will get out of this funk" Robin sighed as a sweat dropped appeared on the side of his head. "Is that not the right saying" it caused the boy wonder to chuckle. "it is dunk? is it not?"

"I think the word you're looking for Star is flunk." Cyborg interrupted. "And I believe she will." Cyborg stood on the other side of the resting Raven. Her heart beat was slowly picking up. "She'll be fine. She's Raven, she has to be"

"That isn't the case" they all turned to face beast boy, his voice was deep. A hint of anger and sadness. "Raven isn't okay. She was never okay"

"BB what are you-" Beast boy threw a black leather book at the edge of the bed. They all surrounded it, wondering what it was. They read the first line, 'Dear diary' and recognized the writing. It was Raven's. Beast boy grabbed the diary and faced his friends with a serious face.

"It's not okay. It has never been okay for Raven." This was one of those rare occasions in which beast boy was dead serious, not a hint of humor, not a smile. His face was stone. His eyebrows scrunched together and his mouth turned into a frown. "She's been feeling like shit." this surprised everyone. Beast boy _hated_ to curse. Even though to some people shit wasn't a bad word, it still wasn't something beast boy would say. "She's broken. She's been broken since after she's saved the world. Trigon is still in her head, still trying to make his way out. He never left, instead he's still a part of her. Locked away in her head. Raven's _broken_." The words sunk in every team mate. They all looked at Raven who was still. "She's definitely not okay. We have to save her."

* * *

"Where am I" a tired emotionless voice asked. She looked around and found herself in a familiar place. She walked through the town, people chatting nonsense. Not noticing the girl. She found her feet walking on their own, to a familiar path. She past the cities, to the woods, to the hills, to a temple. Greeting her at the top was a familiar face in a white cloak. "Mother" she whispered. It was then she realized that she was in Azarath. "I thought Azarath perished."

Arella smiled. "Azarath has always been here. After you have defeated Trigon, our home has been restored." Raven scrunched her eye brows together. Arella frowned. "What is it my dear" she reached out and cupped the side of Raven's face.

"Mother. I still feel him. He's inside me. He's trying to get out and I don't know what to do" a tear slid down the side of her face. "He's giving me all these fake emotions and thoughts so I can lose control and get him out." Arella pulled Raven into a tender hug, Raven buried her face into her mother's arms.

"What are these feelings" Arella asked as she stroked her daughters hair. Raven's cheeks blushed. Suddenly Arella released a small laugh, pulling away from her daughter. "My dear, that has nothing to do with Trigon." Raven shook her head, trying to get the words out. "Raven dear. What you are feeling. What you cannot control. That is love." Raven's face scrunched together, disgusted like telling a five year old that someone has a crush on them. "You cannot control love. It is something that can _never_ be controlled."

"but-" she was cut off by her mother lifting her chin up.

"You wish to fight it, but you cannot. The monks have trained you since you were young to suppress your emotions. To hide what you feel. To control your emotions and remain emotionless. But love cannot be hidden. Love cannot be controlled." she stroke a strand of hair. "It has been years since I had last seen you. And the very first day I reunite with my daughter again, and she is worried about falling in love" Raven couldn't help but smile. Her mother was caring and loving. Something that Raven could never be.

"Mother. How did I get here?" Raven finally questioned as she looked around.

Arella smiled. "You wished for escape. Your physical body has not arrived at Azarath. Only your spirit and soul. I can see you because we are at the temple. The citizens at the city could not because your body is back on earth." Raven's face fell. "Which is why you feel the weight off, you do not have those pestering emotions" Raven couldn't help but laugh, she always laughed and smiled when her mother was around. "Now get some sleep, this problem will be fixed before you now it"

* * *

The changeling sat beside Raven in a chair, his head buried his arms. His fingertips barely touching Raven's. Cyborg was nestled beside the computer, fast asleep with a long big chord stuck to his chest. Starfire and Robin both asleep in each others arms on the couch. Suddenly, Raven's heart beat picked up. Going faster and faster. Cyborg shot up. He unplugged himself and quickly began to check on his patient, but then froze.

Raven's hand was intertwined with knocked out beast boy, he looked at the heart monitor seeing it going over board. Cyborg titled his head with curiosity and slowly pulled their hands apart. He looked back at the monitor to see that her heart beat was slowly going down. "Well I'll be damned" he muttered to himself exhausted.

Slowly, Raven started to wake up. Cyborg checked the monitor screen. 'Raven' sat up carefully and giggled. Cyborg titled his head and saw her sneakingly slip her fingers between Beast Boys. "Love" he said shocked. Love giggled while waving.

"Hiya!" she said cheerfully. Cyborg stood there and watched as Raven's heart beat picked up. It made sense. It was clear as day. Love was the one who caused all the trouble. She was the emotion Raven couldn't control. And it was because she had feelings for his best friend. His mouth opened, gaping at the two. "shhh you might wake up Gar" she whispered. She sighed happily. "Isn't he just dreamy"

"you're the emotion Raven tried to lock away" shocked was an understatement. "Why haven't I met you before!"

Love sighed. "Rae likes to keep me away because of Gar. I can't help it. Ever since the Penny, I've been breaking lose." Love smiled at the changeling who was slightly drooling. "Rae doesn't agree, but I'm her heart for goodness sake! I know what she wants! And what she wants is beast boy!" Love huffed.

"So that has nothing to do with the fact that Trigon is giving her fake emotions?"

Love giggled. "No, she just thinks that. Trigon is inside her yes. But not in rage. Trigon is trapped in a special place that only knowledge knows! Trigon has been loud and hurting Raven lately, so she thinks that I'm just going to cause her pain and make her lose control. But that's what love does! It makes you lose control!" Love explained. "Trust me on this Cyborg. Raven. All of the other emoticlones are deeply in love with Beast boy. Raven just hasn't admitted it to herself. So I sent her off."

"YOU WHAT?" Cyborg screamed. It woke up the other titans. Beast boy shot up in a ready to go fighting stance along with Starfire and Robin. "HOW. WHAT. WHY. YOU. UGHHH." Cyborg couldn't get the words out. He was too shocked and confused. Love just giggled.

"Is happy back?" Beast boy asked as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Worse" Cyborg declared. "Love"

"Raven has that emotion" Beast boy asked in a deadpan voice. Causing Robin and Starfire to hit him in the back of the head. "ouch! What?" Love just giggled as she batted her eyelashes. "so what's going on?" Beast boy yawned.

Cyborg glared at Love. "Well Ms. cupid over here was the one who sent Raven away." The titans yelled what angrily as Love laughed nervously. She smiled bright.

"It's no where bad. I promise! But she just needed to see things and listen. She was ignoring me! I'm a part of her and she thought I was wrong! So I sent her to the one person who's always in her heart." she stayed silent as the titans stares went down. Beast boy heart was thumping.

"WELL WHERE IS SHE?" Beast boy yelled not handling the silence. Before Love could throw in another word, a bright light appeared, a white portal was opening. The titans got ready in their fighting stances, ready to aim. Love already knew who it was and tackled Beast boy down. The portal closed. Standing in front of them was something in a white cloak that was similar to Raven's. The person lowered her cloak to reveal her purple hair and violet eyes. Beast boy couldn't help but stare along with the other titans. Her face held a friendly smile. Her eyes danced with joy and laughter.

"You must be Raven's friends and teammates. The teen titans. I'm Arella. Raven's mother" All the titans gaped at the women in front of them. She was beautiful and now realized where Raven's looks came from. "I see another one of Raven's emotions have caused trouble" Arella raised an eyebrow as she put her hands to her hips. Love laughed nervously.

"I'm sorry Arella, but you're daughter is stubborn! She just wouldn't listen and well one thing led to another and I knew she would listen to you!" Love continued to blab on.

"Wait, where is she?" Robin asked. Arella smiled.

"Would you like to see where Raven grew up?" They all nodded. "Follow me" Arella put her hood up as she opened another portal. They all followed her into it. Arella leading the way followed by Beast boy giving Love a piggy back ride since she 'doesn't know how to work Raven's body'. Behind them was Cyborg then Robin and Starfire. The portal swirled with white and black, specks then strips, all changing so fast. The colors changing. Cyborg looked around amazed. Love hugging Beast boy tighter then eventually passing out, leaving a limp Raven on his back.. The surroundings soon changed, they all looked around in fascination. Eventually their surrounds turned into a temple. Arella stopped as she pulled her hood back down.

"I welcome you. To Azarath"

They all continued to follow Arella down a path. It was silent. Once they reached a step, they heard a lovely tune. Arella smiled. "Are you aware that Raven knows how to play the piano" The titans looked shocked.

"Yes." they all looked at beast boy shocked that he knew such a thing. "I heard her play once when we saved that music store, she kept a grand piano but she keeps it in the basement." They continued to walk higher. The piano getting louder.

"She quit when the monks realized that she lost control of her emotions. She cannot do most things due to her lack of control." Arella gave a weak smile to the team. "Since her physical body is not intact she has taken the moment to do the things she cannot do." They reached the top, seeing the setting was beyond beautiful. A blossom tree was there, pink leaves falling gracefully as the tune continued. A grand piano was underneath the tree. Playing it was no other than Raven. Her eyes focused on the keyboard, a small smile was placed upon her face.

Beast Boy smiled at the smiling Raven, it was a rare sight to see. Raven smiling. Not a small smile but a full, smile. It was rare to the point where no one had even seen it. Until now. As the piece she played slowly went to a stop she turned around. Her face confused. "How did you guys find me?"

"Your mom" Cyborg said as he pointed toward Arella. "Now how do we get you back into your body"

"Remind me to kill a certain emotion" Raven muttered toward her mother, who merely laughed as she put an arm around her daughter.

"Remember what we talked about. You cannot control-"

"I heard you the first time mother" Raven's cheeks turned pink as she tried to hide it with her hood. "Let's just get this done with" she walked over to Beast boy who carried her body. "Put me down beast boy" Beast boy obeyed and carefully laid Raven on the floor. Raven walked toward her body and muttered a small incantation to let her reenter her body. Black circulated around them, which quickly faded. A sudden pain hit Raven's chest, causing her to fall to her knees. All the air in her lungs disappeared and she began gasping for air.

Beast boy quickly knelt beside her, wrapping an arm around her waist. He used his other hand to brush her hair back. The air wouldn't go through, the pain was still there. She kept gasping. "What's wrong with her" Beast boy asked worried. Arella muttered an incantation. Raven screamed as she was forced into her body. Her body shaking, losing control. Arella held her head and continued to chant. Robin unsure of what was going on.

"What's happening?" Robin asked, confused and nearly losing it.

"Her body won't accept her" Cyborg yelled as he did some calculations. "Love, Rage, and Happiness won't let her in. Her emotions are pulling her out!"

Beast boys heart broke at the sight in front of him, Raven's screams cracked his heart. "DO SOMETHING!" Beast boy yelled. Arella stopped chanting, trying to catch her breathe, she fell on her knees beside her daughter. Raven was unconscious. Just as this scene was taking place. The last pink cherry blossom fell onto Beast boy's hand. He looked around him, the surroundings was a sad sight to see. The piano destroyed, the tree nearly burned. The team, shocked and confused. Arella stroking her daughter's hair. The broken girl, remained still. "Come on Raven" he whispered as he crushed the peddle in his hand.


	3. Chapter 3

**Broken**

The changeling paced back and forth waiting for the monks to appear and tell them the news about Raven. "This makes no sense, why would her own body reject her!" Arella slightly smiled at the boy who cared for Raven. "It's her body and her emotions" the green man threw his hands in the air. "Is it Trigon? Is he messing with Rae? Oh he needs a big can of butt whoopin!"

"BB sit down" Cyborg pulled Beast boy into a chair. "It's more complicated than that" Beast boy was about to speak. "Look before you guys woke up, I talked to Love. She sent Raven here because Raven is fighting against her emotions. And it seems like she still is. If Raven keeps fighting against her emotions it could destroy her. Trigon is locked away in some part of Raven. Only knowledge knows so I don't think it has anything to do with him."

Beast boy absorbed everything Cyborg said. A monk whispered to Arella. She smiled. "We can go see her" they all entered the room, finding her levitating, Beast boy sighed in relief. At least she was healing herself. Raven slowly opened her eyes. A frown was placed onto her face.

"RAE!" Beast boy brought her into a bear hug.

Raven pushed Beast boy way. "get off me" she said in a grumpy tone as she sat up.

"at least Raven's back" Robin commented. He looked on the other side of the room to find another Raven, his face fell. "Or not" Raven rubbed her head as she sat up.

"ugh, what happened?" she rubbed her temples and shut her eyes.

"Well-" Beast boy then proceeded to tell her _everything_. From him telling her that he dropped her tooth brush in the toilet which he apologized to her emotions taking over her body. Then he slowly stated something that caused Raven to freeze. "I kind of sorta also. Maybe have read" he looked down sheepishly. "a couple of your diaries" he whispered, he flinched back waiting for impact.

Raven froze. She couldn't process what he just said. He read her diaries. How much did he read. _Which diary did he read?!_ What on earth made him continue after realizing it was her own thoughts. Her own personal thoughts and feelings. She did not blink. She did not move. She didn't even breathe. It last for another minute before Raven realized she needed oxygen. She slowly gasped for air, still frozen in shock. Beast boy slowly lowered his guard, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. Raven tried to speak but she couldn't get the words out. She felt angry, she knitted her eye brows together trying to calm herself down. But for the first time she didn't have her nagging emotions to tell her what to do. She felt free. As if the weight on her shoulders were lifted. Since she was seven she was told to keep being emotionless, but now she felt emotion and it didn't cause her pain.

"I think you broke her" Cyborg stated.

Raven looked toward Beast boy, glaring at him. "What did you read." she asked in angry voice. This made Beast boy jump and hide behind Arella who merely laughed. "Oh no you don't!" Raven stumbled out of bed and chased Beast boy who shifted into a bird flying high about Raven's head. Raven jumped trying to catch him. She stopped and tried to conjure her powers, it was weak but it was enough. The violet eyed girl threw her black magic aiming exactly at Beast Boy who fell. Landing on top of her. "Get off me!" she ordered.

"I like living thank you!" Beast boy ran and shifted into a rat, jumping beside Raven's body. Who coughed. They all turned to Raven's body. "Which one is this one?"

"I am very sorry we did not let you re-enter your body Raven, but Love insist this is the best since you do not listen to us." 'Raven' said in a smart tone.

"Knowledge" Cyborg huffed. This was the emotion Cyborg hated because it made him feel so stupid.

"Please to see you again Victor Stone, as well as you Garfield Logan. I have not officially met you but I do know you are Richard Grayson and you are Koriand'r." Raven groaned. "Raven, I have a message for Love since she fears to return knowing you will as Brave said 'Kick her butt'. She states that you must listen to every emotion because we are a part of you and I agree. You must listen to us. We are a part of you and we know how you really feel. As much as I think Love's actions are a waste of time, she did one thing right by sending you to your mother." Raven scoffed. "We can still feel the emotions that run through your spirit form Raven, and you must learn to face them or else you will just destroy yourself and us."

"Great" Raven said in a sarcastic monotone voice.

"I think Knowledge is right with this Rae. I don't want you do be destroyed" Beast boy chipped in. Knowledge smiled. "Besides she's knowledge, she does _know all_"

"I do apologize on Timid's behalf on 'telling on your mother' as Rude stated. She is the only person whom you happen to listen too. Now my time is almost up."

"Wait. How come we can touch Raven?" Robin asked. "I mean if she's in her soul state"

Knowledge smiled. "She technically has all her emotions 'in check' because we are not in her mind pestering her. She is balanced and so she is what you all know as the 'White' Raven. Her soul is the white Raven. Which takes over her physical body. It is actually a very long and hard to understand process. Raven. You must listen to us. Especially Love. Brave, Happiness, and her have caused a very hard to place to live in without you there to keep us in check. My time is up." Raven's body slowly went down as her eyes closed. Knowledge has left.

Raven kicked the wall. "Emotions are stupid." she muttered before leaving the room. Arella sighed then chuckled a little causing every titan to look at her confused.

"A sense of deja vu. She's acting like her seven year old self. She's pretty stubborn. Come along, I will show you to your quarters. " Arella led them to their rooms. She stopped Beast boy. "If you are surely worried about my daughter, she's on the roof of the tallest tower in the temple" Beast boy nodded and walked the other direction.

* * *

On the roof was Raven, her knees pulled to her chest, hugging them. Her chin rested on her left knee as she watched the cherry blossoms peddles dance with the wind. Her violet eyes glistened as the wind blew in her face. Beast boy shifted back to his human form behind her. He slowly approached her then sat beside her.

"Hey Rae. I'm sorry I read her diary" he rubbed the back of his neck nervously with his back hunched over. Raven didn't say anything she just watched the dancing peddles flow through the winds. "I was really worried about you and I thought if I could step into your shoes I could find out what was wrong with you. I saw your diaries and I just couldn't control myself. I'm sorry, I know it was an invasion of privacy and I'm really sorry Rae" Beast boy looked at her, waiting for her to look at him to show that he was really sorry, but she just closed her eyes and didn't say a word.

"How much did you read" he saw her fist clenched.

"enough to know that you're not alright. You're not fine" Beast boy scooted a little closer. "I told you before, you're not alone. You may feel like you're alone in this world, in this universe Rae" he paused and grabbed her shoulders, making her face him. "but you are not alone"

She shut her eyes, not wanting to look at him. Her heart was beating through her ears. She wanted this feeling to stop. She wanted this emotion to leave her alone. She knew what her emotions would scream if they were in her mind, she wanted everything to just stop. The violet eye girl clenched her fist, wanting him to let go of her. "Go." she managed to say. The changeling looked at her confused. "JUST GO!" she screamed as she conjured enough energy to push Beast boy on the other side of the roof.

He laid there shocked and hurt. Not physically but emotionally. He could feel his heart crumble. He watched as she jumped off of the building, jumping onto others as she slowly disappeared into the sunset. Anger began to fill him inside. "I was just trying to help" he muttered to no one in particular. He stood up and dusted himself off as he began making his way to the quarters that Arella had shown him. On the other side of the building was Cyborg who watched everything go down. He made sure the coast was clear before he followed after Raven.

Cyborg hopped building to building until he found her. She leaned against the burnt tree, her arms were crossed as she tried to find her breathe. "What." she managed to say as she turned around to face her friend. "What." Her eyes showed emotion that she always held in before. Cyborg now understood how broken and confused this girl really was.

"Raven. I know" that was all Cyborg had to say before Raven fell to her knees and lost her breathe. "I talked to Love. You. Your emotions. They're all in love with Beast boy" Cyborg knelt beside her. "Look, I get it. You're scared. All these years of Beast boy coming off as annoying and you're in love with him-"

"I can't be" She looked up at him, he understood. "I mean. This is all crazy. I can't be. It's all Trigon!"

"Raven. Do you want to truth." She looked down. "I know you've already heard the truth. But you're gonna hear it anyways. From a friend. Not your own emotions." she looked up at him. "I get it. I may not understand but I get it. You don't want to believe your own emotions because you think it's Trigon. You don't want to lose control of your emotions because you've felt Robin and Star. You've felt the lack of control in their emotions when they're together. I know you can't afford it. I get it. I also get that you think it's crazy for someone like to even think about loving BB." Raven sighed.

"Just out with Cyborg" Raven said as she leaned against him.

"Beast boy's my best friend. He cares about you Raven. He doesn't want you destroy yourself. He's read your diaries. He knows you're not fine. He wants to help, but it's not gonna work when you keep pushing him away. When you keep pushing all of away. We all want to help. You're someone that is important to us, the whole team. Not just as a teammate, but as a friend. As a family. We care about you. We don't want you to destroy yourself. Just listen to what your emotions have to say."

"I have! They're all nonsense."

"You've might have listened to what they've said, but have you actually heard what they have to say." Raven didn't say a word. "Just think about it Raven. Hear to what they have to say, you might like it." Cyborg stood up along with Raven. "Come on, it's late"

* * *

Beast boy walked in angrily into the room where Raven's physical body laid. He figured he might as well talk to the next emotion that comes up. "They should know Raven more than anyone" he muttered, he looked at her resting body and waited.

"Staring does not help child" Arella entered the room with a basket of flowers. "I'm guessing your talk with my daughter has not gone well" She raised an eyebrow as she placed the basket on the table before sitting beside Beast boy. Beast boy shook his head. "I am guessing you and her do not get along well"

"It's. complicated" he managed to spit out. "I mean, she gets annoyed with me easily and bags on me a lot but occasionally we're nice to each other. Or well she's nice to me." he looked at Raven's lying figure. "If you don't mind me asking." Beast boy asked. "Why was Raven taught to be emotionless"

Arella gave a weak smile. "It begins with me. I suppose" she said as she looked at the changeling who titled his head in interest. "I was sixteen when I had Raven." Beast boy's eyes popped out. "About the same age as Raven. Nine months before I had her, I was 'chosen' by a group of people to marry Trigon. To set him free. With her has a portal. I am sure you do know that" Beast boy nodded. "Well I was born in Gotham City. I am human, but after the monks of Azarath have heard about Trigon. They brought me here to live among them. Now there is a thing you must know about Raven's emotions. They are summoned during the time she feels them the most. An example is when she was born. She smiled and laughed like every other baby, but what was special about her was the happiness she felt could be felt by others. She was a very happy child until she was seven. A group tried to kill her so the prophecy would not come to life, that's where Timid comes in. She felt scared, alone, like it was all her fault. As a child, they always think everything is their fault. The monks have realized that her emotions controlled her powers and decided to train her to become peaceful. She was taught that any emotion she feels controls her power. If she was mad it would be huge, if she was sad it would be unbalanced. Her emotions control how well she controls her powers. The reason why she was taught to be emotionless was so she would not have a hard time controlling her powers. Especially rage. Rage had the power to conjure up Trigon's powers. The monks decided that it was better for Raven to feel emotionless rather than just controlling one emotion at time"

"So when does Love kick in?" Beast boy asked curiously.

"It came from me. Many have shunned her. Many thought that I should have left her, but she is my daughter. She was not just an evil portal. She was not just a half demon. To me she was my daughter. A part of me. She was someone who needed to be love because the world managed to block her out. Someone so different from the world needs nothing but Love." Arella smiled. "It is an emotion that grew smaller when she returned to earth, but it was still there. It just needed someone else to bring her back"

"Who brought her back"

"That is a good question" Arella smiled looking at her daughter's lifeless body.

Raven leaned against the wall, listening. She looked down and walked inside the room. Arella smiled and greeted her daughter while Beast boy avoided eye contact. "I'll listen" She turned to her body. "alone." Beast boy took that as a sign and quickly left the room. Arella put an hand on her shoulder.

"My dear, there is a difference between listening and actually hearing what they are trying to tell you" Raven sighed and nodded. "He's a good one" Raven looked up at her mother confused. "That Beast boy. I approve" Raven blushed and looked down hiding her face. Arella laughed as she left the room. Raven sighed as she looked at her body. She placed her left thumb on her body's forehead, her pinky pressed against her chin's. She chanted a small incantation before all her emotions flew out of her body. Each one appeared, surrounding her in a circle. "I'm ready to listen."


	4. Chapter 4

**Broken**

"What are they saying?"

"shhh!"

"ouch"

"get your tin butt out of my face"

"Get your green face out of my butt"

The sound of a clear throat caused the four Titans to stand up straight, hands behind their backs whistling. Arella smiled. "She had just summoned her emotions. Now as good friends I am sure you would like to hear what she is saying?" They all rubbed the back of their hands laughing nervously. "Leave her be and join me for some tea"

* * *

Raven looked at all of her emotions and sighed. "Who do I have to listen to first." Raven crossed her legs and levitated. She was forced to twirl to Happy. Happy smiled and waved, Raven rolled her eyes.

"He makes you happy." was all she had to say. Raven looked at her, expecting to say more. "Even though his jokes are lame. His efforts makes you smile. The way he calls you Rae, makes you happy. Knowing that he has give you a special nickname. How he always tries to include you into the activities he participates in and how he tries to join yours makes you feel important." Happy paused shooting a smile at Raven. "Beast boy makes you happy." Raven scrunched her eyes together, wondering if it was true. She let the works sunk in. She was happy around Beast boy? She couldn't remember a single time she was ever happy around the changeling. "When you just finished your chess match with Cyborg, he wanted to learn. When you were meditating with Starfire, he joined in. When you were training with Robin, he trained too. Having him around you, brought you happiness. When the television was broken, he asked to borrow one of your books. And read the whole entire thing. All the things that he does to try to get close to you makes you very happy" Raven heard what Happy had to say. She let the words sink it, causing her heart to pound.

Looking up, she found herself facing Timid. She cleared her voice trying to find some courage but shortly lost it. Timid took a deep breathe. "Beast boy makes you sad." Raven raised an eyebrow confused, she didn't want to ask anything because she was trying to hear what they were saying rather than just listening. "He makes you feel Raven. He makes you feel sadness. When he turned into the beast, he protected you. You woke up worried and sad that the Titans had a bad idea of what was going on. Every time he gets hurt, you feel sad because you felt like you could stop it" Timid paused before taking a deep breathe. "You were sad when Terra broke Beast boy's heart over and over again. You wanted to help him, but you knew you couldn't. You were sad because you knew that he still loved her" Raven looked down in disgust. She didn't want to believe the words coming out of her own emotions mouth, but forced herself to let all the words sink in.

She looked back up facing Rage. _This ought to be interesting. _She thought to herself. "He makes us mad. Not just you. Me too. He drives both of us insane. The way he pesters you all the time, how he calls you Rae. It annoys the shit out of us because we're Raven. Not Rae. Raven. The way he acts like a kid all the time annoys the shit out of you. When you found out he read your diary, you wanted to cut him enough and feed him to whatever weird animal Starfire can name. He irritates you, gets on your nerves, and makes you lose control of me. The emotion you're suppose to keep in check 24/7." Rage found herself smirking as she crossed her arms. "He lights something in you, the smallest thing he does makes you furious. Why? Because he has his own way of doing it. What makes you even more furious and mad and pissed?" Rage paused and grinned. "Terra" Raven looked down, letting the words sink in, letting the words hit her.. "Even though you hate to say it girl, you love this boy. You were furious at Terra for hurting him. You didn't care that you couldn't keep your emotions in check. He told her everything, he trusted her, he told her everything about you. Which made you even more than furious. It also made you hurt. But face it, this boy lights something in you that you mistake as Anger."

"My turn!" Brave yelled happily. Raven rolled her eyes as she looked up. Brave was like Beast boy as much as she hated to admit. "BB." she paused dramatically. "Is the best thing that's ever happened to you sport!" she grinned as Raven frowned. "You think it's crazy but BB is the reason why you fight so hard most of the time. You're gonna hate this example, but Terra. You had enough courage to fight her because she was saying shit about him. He was and still is your friend. He's not afraid. He's willing to do what it takes to be a hero, and you admire that. And wish to be that sometimes. He's not afraid, and when he is afraid. He's not afraid to show it. That is true bravery. That is something you wish to have all the time. I may be that emotion, but trust me when I say I've been neglected. Beast boy is the one who summons me up. It reminds you how what bravery is. It summons me to give you the courage to do what you do everyday and fight in jump city" Raven didn't have to let the words sink in. She knew it was true. The other titans went down, they stayed down. Beast boy got back up every time. No hesitations. He fought hard. Harder than Robin sometimes.

Raven turned to Sloth who was picking her toes. Raven laughed inside, the last time she had this emotion was when she was thirteen and refused to clean her room. She was now glad that she did. "I know I know, what does Sloth have to think about emotions about all this stuff. And my speech will be shorter than the others because too many words." Sloth let out a huge gassy burp and smiled. "You let me out around Beast boy. Kay, next!" she looked down and began picking her toes. Raven looked away disgusted to find herself facing knowledge.

Knowledge pushed her glasses further to her face. "You admire his brain. You know he is indeed very intelligent but chooses not to. You enjoy his intellectual side. For example, chess. You enjoyed the two hour game because it did not get boring. It was very challenging to go against the changeling. I know everything because I am knowledge. I know every single one of your memories and in all the ones that contain Garfield, his plans are very unusual, yes, but you find them rather amusing. Being around him makes you feel smart, but at the same time it makes you feel like you do not have to have your nose stuck in a book all the time. He makes you feel childlike and makes me rather useless because as Love says he 'turns your brain to mush' although I am not quite sure that means" Raven rolled her eyes. Of course she would start quoting Love.

She then turned Rude, knowing that Love would probably like to have the last and probably very long speech. Rude burped. "RaeRae!" Rude said in a deep voice then laughed. "RaeRae. You love using me on him. All the good sarcastic and mean comebacks. And I mean man! That's why I love that boy, I'm being used all the time! I guess that's why Rage has a thing for him too. Anyways! You like the sarcastic references you use on that poor kid. You know it doesn't hurt him to the heart which is why you use it often." Raven smirked at Rude, her comments were pretty good and original. "You like to get him riled up because he's pretty hot when he's mad" that comment caused Raven to frown. "Rae. That's all I gotta say" Rude shrugged.

Raven frowned as she slowly turned toward Love who smiled sheepishly. _Hear what she has to say. Hear what she has to say._ Raven chanted in her heart. Love dropped her smile. "I have got one reason why you should listen to us. One reason that makes us sure that you do in fact love him. Other than the fact that I'm Love. _One reason._" Raven looked up and stared at the Purple cloaked emoticlone. Her face was dead serious. It was like staring into a mirror. Love looked deep into Raven's eyes, she wanted to make sure that she was actually hearing the words that were about to come out of her.

"What." Raven asked in a hush tone.

Love didn't say anything for a second, a small smile cracked. "He makes you feel" The violet eyed girl looked down at her hands. She absorbed the words coming from her own emotion. Her words echoing through her head. _He makes you feel._ In that moment, she understood what that statement meant. Robin had only affected Brave, being around Robin made her feel brave because he was just an average human who worked harder than anyone to save others. Robin was brave which affected Raven. Cyborg only affected Knowledge, the computer talks and playing chess for long hours made her use knowledge more often. Starfire only affected Happy- to some extent- when they bonded, because Raven felt as if she did have a friend. Beast boy was the _only person to be able to cause her to feel every emotion. He made he her feel._

"Raven." she shot her head up to look at Love "As your emotions we're not asking you to go and actually marry him. We're asking you to accept how you feel. How _he_ makes you feel"

* * *

The team and Arella were in the room next door, drinking tea. "Whoaaa this stuff is pretty good!" Beast boy commented as he chugged it down. "No wonder Rae likes this stuff"

"It is very pleasing, thank you um. Shall we call you Mrs. Raven's mom?" Starfire asked as she put her cup down. Arella smiled in a loving way.

"Please, call me Arella" she poured more tea for Beast boy and Starfire. "Looking at the clock will not hurry the procedure boys" Cyborg and Robin looked away from the clock and blushed. "I know you are all worried about her, but she is my daughter. She's stronger than you think." Beast boy looked down at his tea. "Regardless how broken she may be at times. She finds way to bounce back up from it. She spent her whole life being broken. Being told that she was something. Being shunned. She managed to break out of it and prove every single person wrong."

"I hope she's okay" Beast boy stated as he looked up.

"She will be BB. She just needs to hear what her emotions are saying. She's gonna be fine" Cyborg reassured. "The only emotion I worry about her dealing with is knowledge" Cyborg shivered. "I may get along with Knowledge but she's a whole new level of smartness!"

"I rather enjoy Happy. She does enjoys the trips to the shops I believe" Starefire chipped in.

"Brave is the best" Robin stated. "She is after all the reason why Raven is such a good heroine" Robin paused. "Although she does act like Beast boy"

"Which emoticlone do you like the most BB" Cyborg asked.

Beast boy sat, tapping his chin. "Well. I like Happy because Raven is rarely happy so when Happy comes out it's like bigger and happier but weird at the same time, but still it brightens the room somehow. I also like Brave because she can never turn down a challenge which is awesome! Because she busts out when I challenge Rae to a game. I also like Knowledge, she knows a lot of stuff and when Rae uses her I feel smarter and I can actually understand sometimes. But then there's Timid who reminds me of a little girl and even though it freaks me out when she overly apologizes she's like too innocent and too much a little girl. How can you hate a little girl. There's also Rage, yeah don't ask. I know how Rage gets all 'rawrrrr'" Beast boy put his arms up like a dinosaur and walked while rawring, then stopped. "But when Rae's all mad, she usually shows more of her emotions. Then there's Sloth, you think Rae wouldn't be a slob but daaang she's worst than me! There's also Rude, even though she is mean to me. Her insults are pretty good and her use of sarcasm is pretty awesome too." Beast boy tapped his chin trying to decide. Cyborg grinned as Robin and Starfire looked confused.

"You're missing one" Cyborg stated. Beast boy looked confused. "Loooove" this caused Beast boy's cheeks to turn pink.

"Well I like how Love comes out when there's waffles. Who knew she really loved waffles!" Beast boy stated. Cyborg laughed along with Robin. Arella just smiled. The door slid open revealing Raven, she was slouching and exhausted. She walked over to the couch and fell. "RAVEN ARE YOU OKAY? DID IT WORK?" Beast boy continued to ask useless questions, throwing in "Uou know I just realized you really do love waffles. Do you want some now" Raven pushed Beast boy's face away and buried her face into a pillow.

"No, I am an illusion because I destroyed myself" she said in her usual monotone. Beast boy rubbed the back of his head confused, causing Raven to grin a little.

"It worked" Cyborg and Robin said in a unison.

"That is splendid friend! We shall celebrate!" Star blabbed onto Beast boy and Arella about the party plans while jumping excitedly.

"So you heard what they were telling you?" Cyborg asked as he leaned over the couch. Raven slowly nodded as her eyes closed. "Do you agree" Raven shook her head and Cyborg chuckled. "You will one day" Raven couldn't help the small smile forming on her face as she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Raven woke up back in her bed, which she has not been in since she was a child. She rubbed her eyes, once she opened there. She saw flames of red, her whole room burning down. She backed away but found that her headboard was burning. Crawling to the middle of the bed she watched the scene unfold. Too shocked to say anything. All the memories as a child, burning to a crisp. Raven tried to scream but her throat was tight. Air wouldn't come in or out. She wrapped her hands around her throat, trying to breathe as tears started to stream down her face.

A familiar evil laugh filled her ears. "You cannot hide forever" the voice echoed. The room continued to burn down. She tried to take in the smoky air. Unsure if this was a nightmare or not. She tried to stand up as she watched her room dissolved into a street that was unfamiliar to her. She watched as her friends struggle to escape from turning to stone. Looking around trying to find a pair of green eyes, she spotted him. Beast boy called out to Raven, trying to reach for her as his body turned to stone. On the other side of the street, Arella laid on the floor, blood covering her white leotard and cloak. The evil laugh echoed through her ears, the world was spinning around her as she watched everything at once. She felt the pain, the sorrow, she felt it all. A small scream escaped her mouth as more tears fell from her face."You cannot escape me, _daughter_!"

Violet eyes shot up, breathing hard. She drew her knees closer to her chest and hugged them. Pressing her forehead on her knees, letting the tears fall as she tried to get her breathing and emotions stable. She shut her eyes tight to make the tears stop falling, but they just kept falling.

She felt a warm hand on her shoulder. "Raven" the voice called out in concern. The fearless, strong, empathy girl found herself shaking in fear. Shaking and crying. It almost made her laugh. The arm snaked around her shoulders, her forehead pressed against the nape of his neck. The crying girl tried to make the tears stop falling, but Timid couldn't help let the tears fall. Rage was silent, Happiness wasn't even in her mind anymore, Brave cowered, all of her emotions were mute as Timid gave her everything to Raven.

Her heart was pounding fast as her crying soon came to a stop, she sniffled as she pulled away from her comforter. "Thank you Robin" she said in a weak smile. Robin handed her a napkins. She took them gratefully and wiped her tears and blew her nose. Discarding the used tissue. She sat cross legged, looking down at her clasped hands.

"Raven, what's wrong?" Robin asked in a caring voice. Raven looked up at him, glistening eyes. It reminded him of the seven year old Raven when Trigon took over the world. "Is he back" Raven nodded. "You had a nightmare then" She didn't reply, instead she just looked down at her clasped hands. "Hey, Raven. We will fix this" Robin reassured as he hugged the girl who was like a sister to him. "The team's all here for you"

Beast boy leaned beside the door, listening the whole scene take place. Robin beat him to it. He was gonna be the one to comfort Raven, he was gonna be the one to hold her. He clenched his fist and began walking the other direction. His fist clenched even tighter as his eye brows knitted together in confusion. He was angry, he didn't know why. The beast inside him screamed to get out again, trying to control it he continued to walk faster. And faster. Soon it turned to an a sprint. He shifted into a bird and few out of the building. Flying high into the sky, wanting so desperately to make anger go away.

He flew for hours, once he was sure his anger had subsided. He returned to the rooftop of the temple. Changing back into his green self, he inhaled deeply trying to get oxygen into his lungs. A water bottle was flung at him, which he caught and chugged down gratefully. He looked over at the person, grinning foolishly at his best friend. "Hey Cy" he said as he caught his breathe. "What's up?"

"Where've you been man?" Cyborg asked as he kicked himself off the wall, Beast boy turned to face the sunrise. Raven's awakening had been at 3, it was now 6 as the sun was beginning to rise. Cyborg put his hands behind his head and stared at the sunrise. "What's up BB?"

The changeling sighed as he crouched down, covering his face with his hands then running them through his sweaty hair angrily. "I don't know man." he said honestly. "I'm just." He paused as he let a frustrating sigh out. "I don't know" he said in a semi calm voice, it was strained. Cyborg knew his best friend well enough, and sure enough the Changeling did not understand what was wrong.

"Wanna tell me why you're so frustrated?"

The green teen chuckled in a crazy way as he shook his head, he looked up at Cyborg who had a grin on his face. Not taking his eyes away from the beautiful view. "Why don't you tell Bee that you like her?" Cyborg was taken back a little and coughed awkwardly, he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I don't know man" in reality he did know. "Bee's sweet and all, but she's part of the Titan's East. We're so far from each other the distance and the fact that our lives are constantly in danger doesn't seem like good thing in a relationship" he looked over at his green friend who was now standing. Hands in his pockets, staring off into the sunrise. "Why?"

"Just curious," Cyborg looked back at the sunrise. It stayed quiet between the two for a while. As much as they both teased each other and beat each other up, they were always there for each other. "Raven woke up screaming." he looked at Cyborg this time. "I was going to check to see if she was okay, but Robin beat me to it" he chuckled. "I listened to what Robin was saying to her and I just got so mad" he looked away, scrunching his eye brows in confusion. "The beast." he paused in disgust "Was trying to come out. I was so angry and frustrated and mad and..." he clenched his fist again, feeling all the negative feelings coming back up. "I don't know why I felt like that. I wanted so badly to just rip his head off"

Cyborg grinned. "You like Raven"

The changeling didn't say a word. He looked at the raising then chuckled. "That's crazy."

* * *

Raven hugged her mother goodbye. Arella smiled sweetly as her daughter hugged her. "I shall visit earth one day. But for now, just remember. You do not have to agree with your emotions, but listen to them" Raven nodded as she hugged her mother once more. The team was going back to earth today. Raven was relieved that this whole issue was done with, but a little torn because of her mother.


	5. Chapter 5

**Broken**

Raven was terrified to sleep again. She hugged her knees and stared at the clock on the wall. She closed her eyes and took deep breathes, trying to calm herself down. She couldn't escape any where, not in her own dreams, not in meditation, it seemed like she almost no where to go. Her emotions were screaming at her to go see if Beast boy was awake. Next door, Beast boy was having trouble sleeping as well. He wondered if Raven was okay. The two stayed awake, not aware that they were thinking of each other.

'Just go to him already!' Love screamed, it echoed inside of her head. She opened her eyes, she ignored Love and decided to make tea. 'Don't make me come out here!' Love echoed. Raven rolled her eyes as she rubbed her temples, Love was starting to get really annoying. 'hey i heard that!'

"I just want some tea damn it!" She muttered to herself. Love scoffed. Raven rolled her eyes as past by Beast boy rooms. Just as she passed by the door opened. She jumped back seeing the green Changeling rub his eyes. "Why are you up?" she asked as she fixed herself. Her cheeks were a bit pink when she realized that he was just in a pair of boxers and a v neck white shirt.

"thirsty. you?" he asked worried, stepping closer to her. His cheeks were a bit pink since he was in his underwear, if he'd known Raven would be up he would have put pants on. He noticed her attire, it almost made him laugh. She was wearing black pajama pants and a black tank top. It made her seem like a normal teenager.

She cleared her throat. "Tea" he nodded as they walked side by side to the kitchen. Beast boy went to get a glass of water as Raven put a full kettle on the stove waiting for it to heat. Raven couldn't get Beast boy out of her head, how badly she wanted to kiss him. She took deep breathes trying to calm herself. _He will be the end of you. _A dark voice whispered in her mind, she froze. _I will find a way out. And he will be the first to go._ Trigon whispered in her head, Raven couldn't breathe, she felt as if her heart had stopped beating and grabbed onto the counter.

Beast boy noticed her moments and walked over to her. "Rae?" he asked concerned. Raven lowered her head and signaled Beast boy to move away. "Raven." he said in a serious tone. He moved closer, till they were only an inch apart. He lifted her chin with his finger, seeing Raven's eyes in tears caused his heart pain. "What's wrong?"

Raven closed her eyes as she backed away from Beast boy. "Nothing" she muttered. Beast boy walked around her to face her again. He bent down to her height this time, looking at her face. Raven couldn't help but laugh as she realized that he had to actually bend down to reach her height. "you grew taller"

"Stop changing the subject. What's wrong?" he asked. She sighed as she ran her fingers through her messy hair.

"Nothing! Just drop it" she whispered as she pushed him away, instantly regretting pushing him away. By this time, the Changeling was a little peeved that she kept pushing him away when all he wanted to do was help her! He was about to yell at her then froze once he saw a tear slowly descend on her cheek. Beast boy pulled her into a hug, her face buried at the crook of his neck. Her heart was pounding in her ears. Beast boy could barely catch his breathe. He felt his heart beat out of his chest and held her tighter. Then felt her heart pound out of her chest, their heart beats racing with speed it was hard to tell who's heart was about to pop out of their chest.

He held her tighter and whispered into her ear. "You're not alone Raven. Stop trying to fight this on your own." He pulled away from the hug and pressed his forehead against hers. She closed her eyes as her heart began to pound faster. "You have me". Her eyes snapped open and found green eyes looking into hers. The kettle screamed causing the two to pull away. Raven turned off the stove and continued to make her tea. Beast boy ran his fingers through his hair upset that a stupid Kettle ruined their moment. The blushing emotionless girl looked down at her tea as she played with the tea bag string. Beast boy cleared his throat causing her to look up.

"I think I'm just gonna go to bed" Raven muttered as she put the tea on the counter.

"Goodnight" Beast boy didn't know who or what had control over him, but he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. Raven made a dash for it out of the room.

Her emotions began to rage at her, screaming at her to go back. Even timid suggested it was a good idea to go back and be with Beast boy. Once she reached her room, she shut the door and pressed her back against it. She was shocked. Processing what happened. Her hand touched her cheek, her blush getting deeper. She could hear Love screaming and freaking out in her head.

Meanwhile, the Changeling ran his fingers through his thick hair over and over again, he was slowly walking towards his room. Completely shocked that he'd done that. Why did he do that? What was going on with him! He found his feet leading him to Raven's room and sighed. He raised his fist, ready to apologize but he couldn't bear to do it. He knocked quietly.

The Raven haired girl jumped at the sound, she turned around and slowly opened the door to see Beast boy standing, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. It looked like he wanted to say something but the words wouldn't come out. "um" He exhaled deeply. "Can we talk?" he hesitated, Raven let him in without making eye contact.

There was silence as Raven leaned against her door, looking around her childhood room. Beast boy avoided eye contact then ran his fingers through his hair aggressively. "You wanted to talk" she finally had the courage to say.

"Do you trust me?" he asked, Raven looked up surprised at the question and slowly nodded. "Then why aren't you honest with me?" she quickly averted her eyes.

"I am" she muttered in a low tone. Beast boy took a few steps toward her, she cleared her throat. "Is that all?"

"No"

Her eyes shot up, jumping back a little surprised that the Changeling was now in front of her. Her heart was pounding in her ears, she had trouble breathing. _God if this was what love felt like, it must stink._ Love yelled a 'hey'. "Then what" there was an annoyance in her voice.

"Why didn't you tell us about Trigon?" he asked, stepping closer and closer.

Raven was actual really annoyed now, she felt Rage jump for joy at the excitement. "It had nothing to do you with" she answered. "And besides, I can handle it by myself." she imagined Rage was pumping a fist in the air along with Brave and Rude. They sure did enjoy when her and Beast boy argued.

"Why are you always trying to fight on your own?" he asked. "Rae, we're a team. We're suppose to help each other when we needed it the most. Stop pushing everyone that cares about you away! Stop pushing _me _away!" Raven stood there, letting the words sink in. "Do you realize how scared we all were? During those few days when you were gone and your emotions were busting out. Do you realize how scared I was? Then finding how that Trigon is still in your head, is still a part of you, trying to get out. You keep thinking that it's only going to affect you Rae but it's not" By now Beast boy was an inch away from her, her eyes were glistening with tears. She forced them not to fall. "It's gonna affect everyone. Not just the team, but your mom, your friends, me." he paused. "Stop lying to yourself, stop lying to all of us. Be honest for once with me Rae"

Raven walked past Beast boy. "I think you should leave." she muttered. She was caught of guard by a pair of arms hugging her from behind.

His arms didn't let her go. He saw a blush creep on her face, felt her heart pick up speed, he felt her slightly shaking. That's when it hit him, oh god, he was truly an idiot. The reason for why she didn't listen to her emotions. The reason why _Love_ sent her here. The reason why she tried to deny her feelings. Raven's emotions told her she was in love with him, but she didn't want to believe it. A part of him was happy because the girl he had feelings for returned them, but sad because she didn't want to believe it. His arms tightened around her and he leaned towards her ear.

"Be honest with me Raven." he whispered softly into her ear. "Why don't you want to listen to your emotions" Raven felt a chill on her spine. "Is there something wrong with me?" that's when she felt her heart stop. He knew. He knew it was him. What got her heart going was what he said next: "I'll change then." his grip tightened. "I won't be a goofball anymore." he chuckled. "Rae, please stop pushing me away."

Her emotions were screaming in her ear. Happy telling her to tell him how much she gets happy when he's a goofball. Timid whispering that she doesn't want him to change. Knowledge telling her that he is fine the way he is. Love screaming that she need to do who knows what! And Brave screaming at her. All of a sudden, she couldn't control her body. She felt brave and love taking control. One second her back was facing the green changeling, then the next her lips crashed to his. Raven couldn't believe what she had just done. She couldn't believe what Love and Brave just had done.

He was shocked at the moments but kissed her back, arms wrapped around her waist pulling her closer. Neither wanted to pull away, but when they both lacked oxygen they were forced too. Beast boy pressed his forehead against hers, trying to catch his breathe. Raven closed her eyes, her head was going crazy and she just wanted everything to stop. She realized what just happened. _Foolish child, who would love a girl like you. A dark voice said, Raven backed away from the green Changeling. He approached her but she just backed away even further, wrapping her arms around herself as if she was trying to shield herself away from the world._

"Rae" he tried to touch her but she glared at him. It was a heartless glare, a glare that he's never seen before. The rest of the words that he was going to say didn't come out. Inside he was fearful, but not for himself. For the girl that he loves.

"Just leave" her voice shook, there was fear, regret, sadness. He didn't want leave her. "Leave." her voice was firm, it had no emotion. She looked at him then looked away, her eyes said so much. Beast boy stood there, unsure of what to do. She couldn't handle it and wrapped conjured her powers, a black Raven engulfing her. Taking her away from Beast boy who stood there with his heart on his sleeve like a fool.

Beast boy didn't know what else to do, where else to go. He found himself in front of Robin's room. He wasn't particularly close to Robin, but he was the only one who had a close connection with Raven. He hesitantly rested his knuckles on the door, debating if he should knock or not. He exhaled frustratingly and knocked. Seconds later, the door opened revealing the tired Boy Wonder who was surprised to see Beast boy up. "Beast boy? Is there something wrong?" he asked.

The greenling sighed frustratingly, his face confused and unsure. This caught Robin's attention and let him in. Beast boy paced back and forth, running his fingers through his hair. He felt something boil inside of him, but he didn't understand what it was. Robin sat on his bed and watched his friend pace. "It's about Raven? Is she hurt?"

Beast boy turned toward the Boy wonder and sighed, shaking his head. "Not physically, but..." he trailed off, Robin understood. "I know why Raven got sent here."

"Because she didn't listen to her emotions"

"No no" Beast boy waved off as if it was nothing. "Raven's in love." It was weird for the Boy wonder to hear that someone like Raven was in love. He looked at Beast boy to elaborate more. "And I'm pretty sure it's me" That shocked Robin further, he stood up and was about to speak. "I'm sure of this Robin." he paused. "she kissed me then she pushed me away and I don't know where she went now! And I don't know what to do! Because I think I love her too." he admitted. Robin sat back down, processing everything that the jokester was telling him. "I don't think. I know. I love Raven" he laughed a little, like he was mad. "Who would have thought." he looked at himself in the mirror. Things really did change.

"Beast boy" The changeling turned to face the Boy wonder who gave him a small, tired smile. "Then go tell her"

Beast boy chuckled. "Only if it were that easy" he mumbled. He smiled at his friend. "Thanks Robin, sorry for bothering you"

"No problem Beast boy. That's what _family's_ for." Robin gave Beast boy a small smile. Family? Huh.

* * *

Raven reappeared at the only place where she felt she had everything in control. The bridge between the monks to the city. It was a beautiful red bridge. A small lake flowing underneath with koi fish and turtles swimming in. Frogs were leaping and croaking through the night. Her legs were dangling as she swung her legs. Breathing in the dark misty air. She looked at her reflection and laughed at how she was in her pajamas.

The reflection began to change, her eyes slowly multiplied and turned into four red eyes. Horns began to grow in the reflection, the smile wasn't a signature Raven smile. Instead it was a deadly one. _You cannot run. _The voice echoed. She bit her lip as she felt warm tears spill on her cheeks. _No one will love you. Everyone you ever cared about. Everyone you ever loved. Will leave you. _Pictures of her friends were in the reflection, each of them turning to stone. Each of them screaming for help. Each of them, giving up. _HE will never love a demon. _The reflection quickly changed to a memory, Beast boy's constant determination to have Terra remember everything about her past, about him. _He loves her, not you. How could anyone love you. _His voice echoed in her mind as she watched the reflection of Terra and Beast boy happily together with a family. _You. Are. NOTHING. _Raven screamed as she clutched her head in pain. Her whole body was burning, all the anger that she tried so hard to keep in was begging to come out. Rage was screaming, causing chaos in her head. She fell backwards onto the bridge, crawling into a fetal position as she clutched her head. Tears were seeping lose as she tightened her eye lids. His voice, everything he's said was echoing through her mind. His laugh echoing through her head.

She fought against it. "no" she whispered in a hoarse tone. "NO" she screamed, her voice echoed. Birds flying off as the sun was rising. "...no" was the last words from her lips before she fell into unconsciousness.

_'What do you want from me!' she screamed, she was in a dark abyss. She was alone, she had no one. God she hated feeling weak, but she felt so weak. So vulnerable. So... so... useless._

_'Why my dear daughter, I want you to set me free. that is the only reason for your existence.' he spoke, his voice echoing throughout the dark abyss. 'no one will even care if you're gone. Robin and Starfire will leave you to raise their own family. Cyborg is immortal. Beast boy is in love with Terra while you are all alone. Alone because no one will ever love such a girl. A demon girl.' he mocked her._

_'LEAVE ME ALONE' Raven screamed, the voice echoed and laughed. 'I WILL NEVER, EVER SET YOU FREE. I rather die than set you free' she screamed. The voice chuckled._

_'If you die, your soul will be set free. But your body is mine.' he whispered._

Raven shot up, her breathing unstable. Her surroundings was not where she remembered, looking up she finds a familiar face. A face that never let her down. It was her someone who was like a father to her. "Child. Running will simply get you no where" Raven was speechless. It was the only man who seemed to understand her, the only man who never gave up on her. It was her mentor who practically raised her. Only something was off, something was different. He was standing there, but he wasn't there. She could see through him, he was like mist. Ready to disappear.

Raven stood up and bowed at her mentor. He gave her a weak smile, raising her chin with a wrinkled finger. That's when she realized that he had past. He was no longer there. "Azar." she whimpered out. His ghost figure disappeared. She started to shake as tears began to flow down her cheeks. "I-I" she broke down again, once on her knees. She hugged herself, feeling like the weak seven year old again. The tears wouldn't stop. She couldn't stop. She felt so alone.

_You think you're alone, but you're not. _Beast boy's voice rang through her head, those exact words. He's said it to her countless of matter how many times he's said it, it didn't mean the feeling would go away. There was no escape. Death would mean Trigon would take over, life would mean the emptiness and loneliness she felt every waking day.

She slowly got up, dragging her feet on a path she never really went to. The stone path led to a gate, she slowly walked in. Passing grave stones until she reached the end. She looked up at the stone, where the word 'Azar'. She began to levitate and crossed her legs. Her eyes slowly closed as she chanted "Azarath Metrion Zinthos" she repeated over and over again until she was out of the real world into another.

Her eyes opened and found a familiar pair of blue eyes. "Azar..." she whispered, she leaped towards the old monk, embracing him tightly as tears set lose. "I feel so alone" she admitted.

A small chuckle was heard, "Dear Child, we all often feel alone at times. Nothing can stop us from feeling that way unless we decide to change it" his voice had a ring, a loving ring that showed care. While the other monks would be strict and heartless toward the demon child, he was the only one who showed affection. "Now, we do not have a lot of time. What do you seek."

Raven sighed as she stood there dumbfound. "I-I don't know" she whispered. A sense of deja vu flew through her body. The conversation had a familiar sense, that's when it struck her. She's had this exact conversation before. When she was seven. She looked up. "I don't want him. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to suffer" she looked up into the man's eyes, waiting to hear the words that he once said.

A smile that showed affection. That showed love. Raven smiled back. "Sometimes, those who push people away. Need someone the most. I did not give up on you, and I can tell you, that young man will never give up on you" Raven closed her eyes as she felt his lips press on her forehead. "Do the rest of the world a favor my dear Raven" She opened her eyes. "Do not make things so hard for those who love you. Let people in. Of course it will hurt, but it is worth the pain." He started to fade away, the world surrounding them slowly stopped.

Raven opened her eyes. "I knew I would find you here" Arella sat beside her daughter and smiled. "He was a great man, a better father than my own" Raven nodded in agreement as she looked back at the stone with a small smile on her face. "He won't give up you know. Garfield." Raven sighed as she looked at her mother.

"Well he should" she said roughly before she walked away.

Arella frowned at her daughter. "Oh dear Azar, please help her" she whispered.


End file.
